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why i am writing this

how long has it been? a year almost since i last deposited ramblings here. just had a very inane impulse to document yet another surge of thoughts.

first off, yes i am already married, and at this point, we're praying and trying to conceive. about a couple of years ago, i have had severe back pain and i've had a battery of tests done when i rushed to the emergency room. urinalysis, fecalysis, blood tests, etc. name it. to the bafflement of the doctors, they couldn't find what was wrong with me. i had an ultrasound done, and the impression was i had polycystic ovaries. eh?

doctor said it was much more common nowadays, and its causes are unknown. she further added that it was no cause for alarm, as these little strings of pearls do normally go away after the first child is born. she said that if the time comes that i want to have a baby, just go to an obgyn and i would then be prescribed hormones to regulate ovulation. it was all gibberish to me at that time, as i was not really in any position to think about conception, babies, even marriage.

but now, obviously, this has to be confronted.

my first australian trip to the obgyn was alright, albeit a bit unpleasant. first off, we live in frankston, which is roundabout 2 hours away from melbourne (where we work, but anyway that's another entry altogether). think of it as batangas in relation to manila. and that's 2 hours at 100kph on the freeway. so, it's kinda... errr... provincial. which means, there's only very few specialty doctors in the vicinity, and i really don't wanna go to a neighboring suburb just to go to the doctor (not unless i really have to, anyway).

so my obgyn is a man. he's a professional, i reason. great, right? and then comes my first visit. which coincides with the day a male intern named ramamurthiharikrishna rao suganthi is assigned to do the initial consultation for the doctor. when he was grilling me with all these absurd questions about my medical history, it was clear to me that he was more nervous about doing the consultation for what was probably his first ever, than i was with what was about to transpire over the next few minutes.

poor bloke, he was. he kept on stammering when he asked me about my menarche, the schedule of my sexual activities (oh boy!), the frequency of my periods et al. it kept me amused, that.

doctor finally entered the clinic where sweaty intern then promptly gave him the gist of what comprised my sexuality. "ah yes, yes hmmm... polycystic ovaries eh? might not be the case. you might not be ovulating regularly though, and that's something that we have to check. so, anytime you're ready, you can strip yourself of your bottom half, put this nasty green sackcloth on, lie on this bit of half a single bed with faux leather and a 2-inch mattress and spread your legs, with feet on the stirrups," dr.obgyn says in one whole breath.

ohhhhkayyyy. *awkward pause*

"come, ramamurthiharikrishna rao suganthi, have a look at this," i heard and at the same time saw the doctor say this over the sackcloth on my knees to a now blushing intern (an indian turning red, imagine that!). "this. vagina. ok? put this bit in... (at this point i was squirming).. i know it's cold, just relax.. and then rotate this screw here *insert sounds of metal objects clanging against each other*... and that is the cervix. see that? now put this other bit in, turn it 360 degrees and just swab the sides to get a bit of a sample from all angles. come on, you can do it.. (and i felt like kicking ramarao)... just breathe and relax, sweetie, it will be over soon. there. then smear it onto this plate just like you would a normal blood sample as if to study the cells." i saw both of them smear what looked like clearish whitish goop on a little glass square thing that's used in microscopes. how horrible was that hey?

whole point is, everything is normal in terms of cells, my blood, and stuff. i just have a high level of progestagen, which hinders me from ovulating regularly. i have now finished my first dose of clomid 100mg. waiting for normal ovulation in 5 days. if that doesn't happen, i would then have to do something else probably. i maybe given an increased dosage, or placed on a new program altogether.

thing with clomid is, it makes me moody. i have hot flushes. i see white stuff swirling in front of me (although im not complaining about this, whee!). but we have yet to find out if it will work.

i made this entry so that you, whoever you are reading this right now, can help me pray for success.

justice, finally.

please click here >>> http://verbalswordplay.blogspot.com/2007/03/justice.html

quick updates

new pictures here >>> http://leiqt.multiply.com new blog here >>> http://coffeeinateabag.blogspot.com

moving out.. and in

new life. new everything. so i'm moving out of this blog... and into a new one. :) thanks, friendster blog. it was good while it lasted.

bulletpoints

i'm a bit rusty at this. so forgive me. for not blogging, and for being too lazy to premeditate about what i'm gonna write right now.

the holidays have been the best yet. and to emphasize my point (and because i'm too high up in the clouds to even bother with being all artsy fartsy about this entry), i am going to tell my tale in bullets.

• our prayers were answered. God is very good indeed.
• tristan came home to cotabs on december 23. he was welcomed by my whole family, who waited up for his delayed flight thereby missing lunch by 3 and a half hours. but, the crabs were still great. and the warmth and anticipation hasn't been ebbed by the delay. had he missed his flight, i would have thrown a fit. hah. and so my wonderful partner for life was home. seeing him blend in well with my family and not sticking out like a stray uban was i thought the bestest gift a woman in love could ever receive during the holidays. but no... i was in for a surprise.
• i am currently a proud owner of a 4mm size 5.5 first engagement band, after my bethroted proposed to me on christmas morning, right after noche buena, and after our traditional gift-giving ceremony. it was a priceless moment, seeing my usually articulate prince become shaky and speechless (if not stuttering). teehee. by far, it was the happiest moment of my life.
• we went to davao, with my family. for an overnight stay and to have the kids enjoy cavorting in the pool. of course, him and i belong to the same category. and he had a blast in davao.
• after which, we went to his home in iloilo. and it was "meet the parents, part 2". i fell in love with his home, i fell in love with his friends, i fell in love with his family, and i fell in love with him all over again. and it is equally marvelous that the same inlove feelings were reciprocated. yup, our God is very very good.
• i am leaving on the 18th, to start a new life. it will not be an easy journey, i know. but my Reason will keep me going. come april, and we will be together again. 14th. it's a date, seigfred. don't be late. =)

haha. what a mediocre piece for a fantastic undescribable experience.

wait. maybe you should hear his side of the story. here: click.

and see pictures here: clicky click.

one at a time

to do:

send stuff to aussie via sea freight. *pending*

buy tickets to cotabato - davao - cebu - iloilo - manila. *check*

christmas shopping! *partially done*

buy ticket to aussie. *already have booking*

visit dentist. *pending*

spa-salon. *pending*

sell other stuff. *anyone interested in a dining table, dining chairs and a bedside table?*

plan wardrobe for christmas break. *done. teehee.*

write the bullfighting, spilled shadow and caught unaware articles. *pending for 6 months now. tsk.*

meet up with friends before leaving. *panic mode*

get ateneo transcript!! *bejeezus, i forgot about this. fark.*

pack aussie luggage before going home to cotabs. *semi-done.*

help out nel with marketing materials and advertorials. *ooops.*

spend a day with abba. *pending. this week, promise.*

quality time with seigfred. *everyday, beybeh.*

sort accessories, decide which ones to bring and which ones to give away. *intentionally not doing. haha.*

not to forget things to do. *racking brain to remember everything*

*************************************************************************

sigh.

so many things to do, 13 days left to do them!

and here i am, netneting my way to 5pm.

talk about time management.

oh well, i work better under pressure anyway.

this is my excuse.

malapit na ang pasko! excited na 'ko. whee.

palm of the hand stories

really, now. life's surprises come in unexpected packages.

dropped by the office earlier for clearance. and keith just arrived from NY.

and.... *drumroll please*

...he got me yasunari kawabata's palm of the hand stories!!! been searching for this book for ages. powerbooks, national bookstore, a different bookstore, that bookstore across tower records in glorietta, even the national library! you name it, i've combed it.

teehee.

now i have something to read again, as i just put down murakami's the elephant vanishes.

and can you believe that he got the last copy in barnes & noble in new york? the cover is a bit "stressed", but hey, it is still priceless.

you can just imagine my beam right now.

ta-ta.

blogging for the sake of blogging

whoa. 11 days of a blog-free me. no wonder i'm exhibiting withdrawal symptoms.

so what's been up?

* went to clark with officemates and seigfred some two weekends ago. bought duty-free stuff (m&m's mint, which for me qualifies as heaven in a 1-pounder bag; chestnuts; spices for his culinary adventures; cooking wine; spam, aka sodium chloride in a can; hills bros coffee et al). pictures to follow. almost cried because seigfred refused to buy me the terrier i fell in love with outside puregold. helped down a big bottle of tequila. (yup, again. despite a promise to myself never to drink tequila again.) swam, swam, swam, and had an absolutely gorgeous time.

* finally, i was able to go to seaside and munch on the treasures of the sea. i heart seafood! oink mode. went with my boyfriend, gid and allan, dean and sau, and jane ef who at that time said goodbye to his lovely locks and traded it for a mohawk, then a skinhead 'do. fiscal damage was hefty, but it was well worth it, i s'pose. i told them that if anyone did not leave that place with a bellyful of crustaceans and fish, then he/she can rant all he/she wants. so everyone went mum, and i am happy.

* speaking of mum, my mom's here. and i was kinda forced to tell her about The Plan, which is entirely not in the plan. but all's well yihee. and i dare not elaborate, lest i ruin the big moment when i can finally get to write about it with premeditated creativity and flair.

and as usual, i have to rush now.

adieu.

my life is sunny.

the weekend that was had been a lovely one. as always.

happy happy joy joy happy happy. bliss!!!!!

life is ONEderful.

but i'm not saying that my life is perfect. i still have worries and concerns, i am still angsting over a lot of things, i'm still pobre, i still have a lot of work to do in my life, and i still have to find a cause larger than myself.

however, everything's really going well. great, in fact.

which made me realize, that this is how it should be. the greater part of life, after all, is sunshine. ü

59 days to go...

My roommate once: brought home quite a number of petri dishes with cultured icky-nesses on them and stored them in our fridge for weeks on end. them damn bio majors! ü
Never in my life have I: gone deep-sea fishing. not that i'd really love to try.
If you spend the night at my house: you will complain of cold (my aircon unit has an unregulatable temperament), you will oversleep (it's so dark you'd think it's evening even at noon), you won't go hungry (the fridge and the pantry is well-stocked, thanks to a wonderful chef of a boyfriend, finally someone who is responsible) and you will stay up late (gabfest till the wee hours of the morning).
High School was: a myriad of fun, drama, and heartache.
When I'm nervous: i get sweaty palms.
By this time next year: i will hopefully be home preparing for something wonderful. ü
Take my advice: if you don't know what you're talking about, then STFU. you hear?
If I could have any car, it would be: any model of kompressor.
When I was 5: i already knew how to spell 'czechoslovakia'. wait... that was when i was 4. when i was 5, i was getting ready for grade school.
Last Christmas I: i made peace with the only person with whom i had a hang-up in my life.
Last summer I: grew a backbone; let go of a lot of bullshit, and learned to love myself. i also discovered the true value of Value, and realized that: all of them were drafts, i have found my masterpiece.
I should be: packing! but instead, i am going out of town. harrrr!!!
The last time I was drunk: was last saturday. downed 3 bottles of red horse. on a semi-empty stomach.
The craziest recent event was: our kopi roti discussion. it was life-moving. ü
And by the way: things are falling into place. surrender, surrender, surrender!
Sometimes, when no one is around, I: walk around the house in my underwear.
My favorite relative is: my Uncle Father.
I have a hard time understanding: people who are truly mean and irresponsible and vindictive and unforgiving and hypocritical. jeez. grow up and let go.
You know I "like" you if: i go out of my way to show you my appreciation.

*****

i'm tagging: santa claus. santa claus is lovable and generous, and spreads joy and things to hope for to all the little kiddies in the whole wide world.

i can't wait for christmas!!!

my latest life story in stills

please view

latest pictures

in

my

mirror site

ahhermm.

a pic that says a thousand words.

well, it says only two words to me.

what does it say to you?

*tee hee*

drowned by my "to-do's"

whew.

back online after 2 long weeks of blog hiatus. my life is in a frenzied state right now. wait, that's not entirely true. let's just put it this way: my thoughts are in a frenzied state right now.

i have severalillion things to do, but i'm so pressed for time. so many places yet to visit, but the hours rush in a blur.

i have created checklists in my mind, yet i haven't done even a quarter of them. so, there. anyone up for purchasing a not-really-used-that-much-coz-i-turn-all-my clothes-pink-whenever-i-use-my-washing-machine (6kgs capacity, rust-proof)? or a 6-year-old, has-served-me-really-well 14in samsung colored tv set (i'd throw in a 10-meter cable wire for an illegal cable connection too)? a hot and errr... room temperature water dispenser (the cold switch got busted)? a closet (sans my clothes of course)? a single metal black bed (which can accommodate two)? and... other knick-knacks. i'll probably have to make a complete list, no? or we can do it the other way around. ask me if i have something you want, and if i have it and am ready to let it go, then let's do business, beybeh. contact me if you're interested. see to appreciate. i can probably throw in a snack and regale you with funny stories. let's laugh at skeletor. ha ha. that cracks me up everytime. see? i'm getting crazier by the minute.

so watels?

i'm going home to cotabs in a few weeks' time. and stay there till five days before my flight to the land of roos. hopefully, i won't drive my family insane during my stay. and hopefully, i'd get to meet up with friends while i'm there. (calling all victors. isn't tintin coming home for christmas?) again, home. which reminds me, i have to check the rates for tristan and luanne's flight to iloilo from cotabs (via davao and cebu)!!! freakish. whee. this is going to be an interesting vacation. and that was an understated understatement.

meanwhile, my office files need to be turned over properly. i have to meet up with other manila friends before i go. i am going to clark with my officemates and the boyfriend this weekend, which hacks off two more days from my "packing my life" regimen. seigfred and i have to check out the rest of the interesting places to visit and to eat in from my "interesting places to visit and to eat in list". have to sort out important files to bring with me, and files to leave behind but not throw, and files to burn. have to arrange the piles of books i'm taking with me, books i'm leaving to seigfred, to gid, to lesley and to bring home (and books to return! and to those books borrowed from me, you may keep them, wala ng pag-asang maisoli pa, i know). burn cds. decide on which shoes and bags to bring, which trinkets to pack, which clothes, which everything! waaaah. chaos, i'm telling you.

i try not to be affected by it. so i sip on a cup of coffee and nibble on new faves (kopiroti kopi bun and kaya toast), take my sweet time talking and dreaming with my christmas man, and nurture my budding love affair with haruki murakami.

ciao.

before i go...

just an extremely quick post.

i shall be leaving in a few. off to a (hopefully) better life. (but seriously, can it be better than this?) ü

currently setting my affairs in order. i found out just recently when i was sorting out my pc files that my nintendo simulation wasn't working. sheesh. and it bugged the hell out of me. eniweis, enough whining already.

might be putting up a garage sale soon. for my appliances, and gazillions of bags and other knick-knacks. any interested participants?

will be transferring to a new blog home too. just to, you know, make everything cohesive. a fresh everything.

seigfred said, time flies and you have got to fly with it. yeah well, let me stretch my wings for a bit and watch me glide. to next year. *wink, wink*

so, people. i might be leaving before christmas, if i can't help it. otherwise, i'll be off next year, first week.

if we have some unsettled business, call me. hehe.